TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
