My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
