She went from zero to smokin in five shots
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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