Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Can I color on your dick again?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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