He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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