So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
