I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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