You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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