also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Boobs are out for the taking
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
