It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
