I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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