The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
My dick has a subreddit
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
