You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Randomize
