a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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