The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
