You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize