I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
