I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
