I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
