either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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