I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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