it hurts more in the daytime
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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