Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize