I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize