Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
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I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
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She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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