just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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