i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
