you win again, gameday.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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