also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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