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This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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