then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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