Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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