I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
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Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
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And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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