my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
