Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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