the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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