Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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