I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize
