Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
