I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
