Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Randomize
