he wants to bone in the snuggie
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
