We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
