The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
