You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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