Moan for me like Helen Keller
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
