her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
i think im in europe. pls send help
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