doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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