it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
