STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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