my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
