You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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