she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
