i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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