Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize