Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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