apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
